Fear of Commitment

....not when it comes to a husband, or kids, but going on a diet. I'm finally going to do it.




Here is my life story at five foot eight, no holds barred, when it comes to weight:


Marriage to Rob - 125 lbs (model thin)


After Bethany was born - lost all but five pounds, so up to 130 (still looking good)


After Conor was born - lost all but five pounds, so up to 135 (still pretty good)


After Kyla was born - lost all but five pounds, so up to 140 (not too bad for having three kids)


After Reid was born - lost all but five pounds, so up to 145 (not too bad for having four kids)


After Landon was born - lost all the weight, so still at 145 (looking good)


After Claire was born - lost all but five pounds, so up to 150 (kind of starting to get annoyed)


Met John - went out to eat at least three times a week, so by the time we got married five weeks later, I was up to 160 (really depressed because I had to take back the first wedding dress I had purchased in exchange for a larger one!)


After returning from honeymoon in Cancun - 165 (even more depressed now)


After Johnny was born - lost all but 9 pounds, so up to 174 (figured I'd lose it eventually)


After twins were born - lost all but four pounds in five weeks, so now up to 178 (thrilled that I had lost 38 pounds in four weeks eating whatever I wanted!)


Continued eating whatever I wanted - gained 11 pounds and reached an astonishing 189 pounds!! (Aarrrgh!)


So I've started a diet. It's not a diet where I count every calorie or carb gram, just one where I don't eat four large bowls of chocolate ice cream every day. I might even start exercising. I'm still nursing the twins, so I have to make sure I get enough calories, just not so much that the excess goes to my hips and thighs and under my chin. I'm blogging this because I want to be accountable to you and I know you'll give me the encouragement I need. Since I began my diet, I have lost five pounds, so I'm on my way to success. Here is a picture of my current self. I'm not proud of it, but let's just call it my before picture. Wish me luck!