Just in case you didn't know....I'm Superwoman...

Yes, in case you didn't know it by now...I'm perfect and I do everything right.

I would never stuff food down the drain with my fingers to avoid having to carry the sopping drain guard, filled with food remnants, all the way over to the trash can...


I make time for regular pedicures and would never dream of sporting jagged, unpainted toe nails. I'm a posh mama... (Please do not click photo to enlarge.)



My children are perfectly trained. My toddler would never throw his underwear on the floor and run, naked, around the house all afternoon. It just wouldn't happen...


I would never, ever waste my time sitting on the couch reading simplistic, teenage romance novels, which happen to involve vampires. I would chose classic literature, such as Charles Dicken's "Great Expectations" or Leo Tolstoy's "War and Peace". Who wouldn't?


I would never leave wood chips on the floor by our wood-burning stove for days on end, allowing the twins to crawl through them willy nilly. That would just be wrong.


I would never stuff a random drawer full of objects of whose use I am not aware... No, I would never create a "junk" drawer. Not in MY new home...


I would not ever buy a large amount of fruit, then not make sure to eat all of it before it goes bad, like these over-ripe kiwis and lone key lime...


...and I would certainly never buy spring greens and forget about them in the bottom drawer of the refrigerator while they become slimy and inedible...


I would never allow my children to leave an ice cream bucket filled with and coated with pancake batter and place it in my refrigerator, the pancake batter hardening and chipping onto the immaculate shelves...


I would never allow the 16-year-old boy to play the XBOX on a school night...


One would never find toys scattered all over my new living room floor. I have much too much pride of ownership for that...


Nor would one find me sitting the 9-month-old twins in front of the TV while I blog mop the kitchen floor...


I would never scribble chores for the children to finish on a sheet of typing paper. I would print out a color-coded chore chart complete with rewards and stars...


I certainly wouldn't store a triple stroller by the front door and decide to store in the middle seat a set of pumpkin lights my husband purchased because I didn't know where else to put them...


You would never find open, unsealed bags of cereal carelessly tossed in my cupboards...


...because I invested in a nice cereal dispenser like this one to avoid just such a thing...


I would never get an end table out from storage, bring it into the new home my husband works so hard to provide for us, and leave the dust on it for three days, like this...


Additionally, I would never let dust accumulate on our organ, like this...


I would never invest money into house plants, then put them in a rarely used room and let them die of neglect...


I always empty my dryer's lint trap and would never, ever dream of letting it accumulate like this... that would be a fire hazard...


I make my bed faithfully every morning. One would never, ever come into my bedroom and find something like this...


I have perfect decorating sense and one would never find a furry blanket boasting a fierce animal print like this on my bed... under any circumstance...


I always pair all of the childrens' socks each and every time I do the laundry. Can you imagine someone who would simply pile them all in a basket and let the kids sort them out themselves? I once brought up this option, theoritically, to this friend, and she laughed me to scorn.


I would never leave my stove looking like this overnight. I wouldn't dream of it. How could I sleep? I would have nightmares of cast iron beasts the entire duration of the dark night. I'm certain of it.



Yes, I am Superwoman...

I am pleased to list this post @...
My Charming Kids' "Not Me!" Monday.

This lady is hysterical! You've got to check her out!

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