How it feels to be 40+ weeks pregnant {for future reference}

Sometimes it seems as though I am in a dream state, like I'm going to be pregnant forever and that Baby Daniel is just a figment of my imagination.

Is there really going to come a time when I will begin to feel regular pains in my lower back, which will gradually increase to the point where my body will feel like it is being ripped apart and I will lose touch with everything going on around me and feel completely encompassed by the process of my uterus working to bring my child into the world?

Will this seemingly huge mass of humanity within me actually be able to make his entrance into the world through such an insignificantly tiny exit? How will I withstand it? Yes, I've done it seven times before, but still... how?

When it's over, will I really be holding a precious baby boy in my arms, who will look into my eyes and nurse at my breast?

Will I really come home with him and lie him in the co-sleeper I've carefully prepared for him, dressed in warm sleepers and swaddled in receiving blankets?

Will I really sit in my rocking chair by the fireplace in my room, and nurse him while I continue to read Charles Dicken's David Copperfield, or will I have finished the book before he arrives?

Will all of the older children really come to visit me in my bedroom as I recover, and look on in wonder at their new baby brother? I know some of them won't act like they feel wonder, but I know they will. Except, will it ever really happen or will I continue to be pregnant all the days of my life?

It's hard to believe these things will ever come to pass. Sometimes I feel like...

...I will never be able to pick up toys off the floor again...

...I will always waddle, very slowly...

...I won't ever be able to cross my legs again...

...I am going to die when the baby moves his head such that a nerve going down my inner thigh is hit, and I cease to be able to walk...

...I will never be thin again...

...my thighs will always fall asleep when I've stood for too long because the baby is so low, and cuts off the blood flow to my legs...

...I will always have to splay my legs when walking up stairs, rather than just lifting my knees up directly in front of me...

...I will always have to drive leaning as far back as possible in the seat, again, splaying my legs so that at least one of them can touch the gas pedal, and in the case of a sudden stop, can be lifted up quickly, then press down on the brake...

...screaming when people ask, "You haven't had the baby yet?"

...screaming when people start asking why I'm not being induced. The baby's only two days late, for goodness sake, and babies can safely come up to two WEEKS late! (Okay, sorry, I'll calm down now.)

...I will never get a good night's sleep again, which is probably a perfectly accurate prediction of my future...

...I will never eat again without afterwords experiencing a searing, burning pain in my chest, known as heart-burn...

...I will never be able to hold the twins in my lap again...

...I will never run...

...or jump, not that I could do that very well before, but still, I'd like to try...

...I will never lie on my stomach again...

....or hug my husband close, without having to take two steps back before I lean into him...

I've written all of these things because I really do know that this time in my life will very soon pass. There truly is only a very short time when I will feel these feelings, and I wanted to remember them, and perhaps compare them to how I'll feel the next time God sends one of His choice spirits into our home. Is it worth it? Having recorded all of these difficult feelings about late pregnancy, do I really want to do this again at some point in my future? You bet your life on it.

Thanks for listening.


On 365 Days of TV-Free Toddler Time today:
It's Cereal and Pipe Cleaner Time! Click the pic to see.



On life in mexico {and other places} a picture a day today:
{a bathroom wall}