Wednesday, September 16, 2009

My Spooky Internet Stalker (Too Early For Halloween)

Two days ago, I got an email from myself. Yes, myself. When I hit reply, it would go back to my own email address. It was entitled "Greetings" and this is what it said...


I just figured out how to use the internet. I look forward to communicating with you in this manner.

Your inner child"

My first thought was, "Okay spooky, but this is a mass prank virus and I had better delete it immediately." Hopefully it wasn't too late.

Later on in the day, I got a second email entitled "good work". It said...


Nice missionary work lately. All children love spreading the Gospel.

Your inner child"

Okay, now I was getting a little freaked out. I had been on a forum called The Blog Frog for the previous two days having conversations about Mormonism with other Christians. At one point, a gentleman got upset at my beliefs and said I was "such a liar". There were a couple of other people in the forum who didn't seem to like my beliefs much either, and I thought that perhaps one of them had decided to give me a little scare and that if I did nothing (because what could I really do?), they would stop eventually.

The third email was entitled "Dinner", came at dinner time and said...


I love it when you use your hands to mix the food that you are preparing for dinner. It is so primal. All children love to get dirty that way.

Your inner child"

This one disturbed me quite a bit. It seemed almost sexual, in a way, and very personal, and I did not like it, no, not one little bit (I've been reading too much Dr. Seuss lately.) The 14-year-old girl had come home from school by this time and as I shared each email with her, she began getting a little "freaked out" herself.

The fourth and final email was what really got to me. It was entitled "Tonight" and said...


I would love it if you took a nice hot bath tonight after you put Johnny and the twins to bed.

Your inner child"

When I read this, I felt all the blood drain out of my face and into the pit of my stomach. As most of you know, I try to be careful not to mention my kids' names on my blog (except for in this post, apparently), but when I first started blogging, I did use their real names on occasion. I thought, "This person is going through my blog archives and totally blog stalking me and really trying to spook me out and it's working!" I showed this last email to the 14-year-old girl and she kept repeating, "Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!" and "I'm freaking out!" and "Mom, what are we going to do? We have to do something! Shouldn't this be illegal? Can we call someone?"

I tried to calm her down and told her that they couldnt' find out where we live, and even if they did, Mexico is too far away.

So, because I had deleted all of the previous messages from my inner child, I decided to go back to my "trash" box and take a look to see if I could gather any more clues about what was happening. While there, I came across a message from my inner child I hadn't seen before. It was entitled "Call Your Sister" and said...

"Hello Jennifer,

Call your favorite sister - Robyn.

Good bye for now,
Your inner child"

"Ah-HAAAA!" I yelled, calling for the 14-year-old girl to come hither. I pointed at my computer screen and said, "Look! It's aunt Robyn! She's the one who's been doing this!"

I immediately called my sister and asked if she was my inner child. She burst out laughing and I said, "I KNEW it! How did you figure out some hacking program that allows you to send emails from someone's own email address?"

"I didn't hack, you idiot," she answered. "You left your google account open on my laptop when we were visiting Mom two weeks ago, and I thought I'd have some fun with it." She continued laughing and so did I, for a long, long time. On a side note, she had informed the 17-year-old boy of her evil prank via Facebook, and as the 14-year-old girl and I had wrung our hands in concern wondering what to do, he had quietly made himself a peanut butter sandwich without saying a word. Thanks, Robyn! (Shown in the middle below. Just look at that smile. Does it not have mischevous written all over it?)


At the end of or phone conversation, I asked if she would please sign out of my email account so she wouldn't be tempted above that which she could bear to play another prank on me. She agreed she would, but not before sending one last email from my inner child, entitled "Good bye"...


I'm sad that we can no longer communicate by email, but I understand. Don't forget about me.

Your inner child"

Don't worry, Inner Child. I will never forget about you.

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Crazy in Alaska said...

OOOOH! I woulda been scared hairless! I'm glad it was just your naughty sister! :)

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Anonymous said...

Oh my gosh I would have been scared!! That would of been a Your sister has quite a sense of humor!!! Good idea.

BarbaraJo said...

That is a good one. HA! I was getting freaked out just reading them. I bet you were dying.

Amy said...

What a funny story! I am glad it wasn't a real stalker, and that all is safe. Crazy!

C said...

Mandy and I just had a big old laugh about this one. Robyn, that was hilarious!! Jen, your inner child is right. You deserve a hot bath.

Love ya!!!


Duffmano said...

Thank God it was her. I once jokingly pretended I was Hugh Grant in a goofy email to my niece (long story, he was at her college the previous week and got in gobs of trouble for hanging out with them at a party)and I got panicked phone calls from the entire clan the next day saying they were going to take a restraining order out on Hugh Grant since he was now stalking her. Whoops. All in good fun though!

Rhonda said...

I love your sister. She's funny! ;)

Cassie said...

My brothers and sisters all know each others passwords and change their status on facebook on each other all the time but do it in a obvious way like Pamela is my favorite sister ever! But I hang out on the blogosphere instead!

Hazel Nut said...

Oh my! That is freaky and funny at the same time. I am so glad it turned out to be your sister!

favorite daughter of yours said...

actually, they could find out where you live. it's quite easy actually, I think J knows how to do it.

Globe Trotters said...

this totally freaked me out- before i could finish reading i had pulled ben over to read it with me, i was freaking out. i am so glad it turned out to be robyn and you could have a good laugh about it, ah!

alessandra said...

The first thing I thought was, that someone in your family was playing a prank to you, because one day I received a mail from me, saying I love you, I was a little upset, but after a while I imagined it was my daughter who share the same pc, and have access to my mail.
As your story continued, I was a little scared too, and concerned because maybe you expose yourself and your family a little too much ( even though, I enjoy reading ;).
At the end I was relieved that was only your sister, and yes she's a little mischievous ( but talented too ).

Cheryl B. said...

Okay, so I know that "Revenge is mine saith the Lord", but I really think that he is refering to hateful, mean spirited revenge. Honest. So, that being said .... it's plotting time girl!!! And you have to wait awhile to do it. You can plot and plan it all the way out now, but wait awhile to act on it ;-} And yes, I AM referring to taking action against BOTH your sister AND your son!!!!! "What goes around comes around". You can do seperate stunts on the two of them ... but they should probably be done at about the exact same point in time. Hey, the holidays are a comin .. do you get together at either?
I KNOW - an idea we did in Sr. High Youth Group - {honest, this idea just came to mind while I was typing!!} One Fall we had a party at which we had a carmel apple eating contest. But it was rigged. Jack D. was just too much to swollow - most all of the time ... and he had recently pushed everybodies buttons ... so for the carmel apple eating contest, he was given a carmeled onion!! Yes, a carmel covered onion. All of the other carmel apples had been made earlier in the day, then chilled. The large, mans fist sized, spanish onion was peeled about a half hour before the party, then chilled. That way the smell of the onion wouldn't have leaked through yet. He bite into that thing gung hoe, and started chewing donkey style. We had a hard time cheering everybody on ;-p He suddenly got huge eyed, but after looking at how far along the others were, he took a second mouth FULL. Finally, right after his fourth bite, he spit it back out. By then he had tears a streamin. ... It worked great!!! And yes, we had cold drinks ready for him.

About those whom don't agree with your religious views ... Why do some people refuse to see that offending others by their rudeness, etc. is only going to turn them (the offended ones) off to listening to what they (the rude ones) think is right?!!! "Do unto others as you would want them to do unto you."
Hey, that last quote applies to your sister and son too o:-p

Unknown said...

OMGoodness! I was TOTALLY freaking out for you and I don't even know you! (I'm new here on your blog list.) lol

Lisa @
All That and a Box of Rocks

Kami said...

That is creepy and scary and oh so wonderful! What an amazing prank :) Had I pulled it on my sister, she would have called the cops by the second email!

Randall and Christy Hatch said...

LOL- This is totally something I would do!!! HA HA HA!!!

Amanda B. said...

Oh my! that is crazy!!! I would have been freaked out too. That is really funny though!

Sorry to hear some people got so negative on the forum. I don't get people. It is fine if they disagree, but why do they insist on proving their points or finding falsehood? Why don't they just let it go and let us crazies live how we want? Did he not read the part about keeping things calm? anyway, glad it was you doing it- you are very good at talking about the church!

Mom2my10 @ 11th Heaven said...

Actually, Amanda, this happened with the gentleman on another site. It was because of him that I had to write the rule about no name-calling!

Allison said...

When I finally got to the part about your sister, I realized I had been holding my breath (and freaking out) right along with you and 14-yr old girl!!

That would have done me in if I'd received those messages. :-)