First-Time Bowlers and Vegan Cashew Kale Chips

A few days ago my 19-year-old son, on right...

...who is serving a two-year mission for our church, emailed me the following letter. It was so entertaining and useful to me, I thought I would share it with you, unedited. Thanks for listening!...

So, yesterday I was pretty frustrated so my email was lame so I felt bad. So now, while my companion is in the library to do something for his school I am also in the library and i have a little bit of time to write you a slightly better e-mail! How exciting!

Now, i must tell you that one of the most entertaining things I have ever seen in my life is what I saw when i went bowling with a bunch of old mexican men who had never gone bowling before. They would lift the bowilng ball HIGH over their heads and then swing it backwards as far as their arms would stretch and then swing with all their might to throw the ball high into the air and listen to it SMACK the lane like a comet! But some would use both hands and roll it or they would just kind of sit it on the floor and then push it down the lane. But no matter what way they pushed, rolled or threw it they would always, when the ball was curving towards the gutter, LEEEEAAAAAN as far as they could to the direction they wanted the ball to go and they would say "hay'sta hay'sta!" And if they would even hit one pin they would say things like...

"Asi hermanos, asi." It was literally the funniest thing I've ever seen.

But, mother, I must tell you about my branch mission leaders wife... she is vegan and she makes delicious food. I went to their house the other day and she pulled, out of her dehydrator that is the same one you have, a lump of what looked like dry, tangled, seaweed and said "Here, it's a kale chip." So I said thanks and then ate it. And it was wonderful. So i got the recipie for it:

1 bunch organic kale
3/4 C. cashews that have been soaked for at least an hour if possible
1/2 red bell pepper
juice of 1/2 lemon
1/3 C. nutritional yeast
1 tsp. sea salt

Mix all the ingredients except the kale in a blender (I have a blentec)... take the stem off from the kale and cut it into pieces bigger than bite size because they shrink... then mix the sauce with the kale and put into a dehydrator sheet with the plastic for wet stuff... the kale pieces dont have to be seperated into each individual piece just spread along the sheet as you can (I used 2 sheets)... dehydrate at 110 all night until crispy... they dont stay crispy for more than one day... they can be put back in the dehydrator or eating like that... they are good anyways...

So thats her directions... I would exhort you that when ye shall read these things that you should remember how merciful the lord god hath been unto the children of men in preparing them delicious kale chips. now make some... because they are delicious. Also, if you want to send me a wonderful birthday present you can make some really delicious waffles, try them to make sure they are good and then send me the recipie for them so that i can eat waffles for every meal. How does that sound? Good? good.

So that's pretty much it. My companion is ready to go now so I will say goodbye and apologize for my lame letter yesterday.

OKLOVEYOUBYE!!!

P.S. Tell the kids I love their letters that they send me.

P.P.S. There is a missionary here named Elder Snow (I can't believe I don't remember his first name, I just gave him a blessing today) and he is from El Paso! How wonderful eh?