Showing posts with label to lose a father. Show all posts
Showing posts with label to lose a father. Show all posts

Monday, August 9, 2010

Homemaker Monday: Yard Sale Adventures in a Border Town

Welcome to the 100th weekly edition of...


Thank you for joining us! If you're new to this carnival and would like to enter your post, please check HERE for the rules and regs.

YOURS: This week's "YOURS" goes to "Goodbye, House! Hello, Home!" When I read this post, I knew there was no choice to but share it with you. Hello Home shares her superbly organized method of selling trinkets, knick knacks, dishes, and clothing on Ebay. I totally want to copy her...

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And this is just one photo of many she shows on how she organizes her Ebay business. And you have to go to her blog to check out her bulletin board. It is the cutest thing ever. Thank you so much, Hello Home, for your inspiration! I have just recently starting selling on Ebay, and I know that if I used your system, I could save lots of time and bring in some extra income. Thanks for the inspiration and please feel free to grab the "I Was Featured" button from my left sidebar! For Goodbye, House! Hello, Home's entire post, click HERE.

MINE: When a father dies, he leaves his legacy to his children. Once my father took me outside and waved his outstretched hand over his estate, and said, "Jennifer, when I die, all this will be yours." Here is some of what he was talking about...

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It's been two years since his passing, and his "legacy" is still some pretty bad feng shui at my mother's house. Now, let me explain, for my mother's sake, that she fought this every step of the way. My father even built a large, high wooden fence around all of his treasures so that my mother would rarely have to see them. Her part of the yard looks pretty nice with pots of flowers, a cute pond with a well top and bucket, and wrought iron patio furniture. My father's collections are probably what caused the most contention in their marriage over the years, that and when my father did things like call my mother from the living room, while he was in the kitchen three feet away from the fridge, to tell her to get him the ketchup.

Recently, my mother has expressed that she feels overwhelmed at the thought of living amongst all of this junk and that it feels oppressive to her. She has few family members who live near enough to help her, so I decided that while I was visiting her, I was going to get something done.

I called the first salvage yard listed in the phone book, and asked if they would come over and look at the 23 cars we have, which don't run, including two buses. They sent a young man named Efren over and after wandering through the property, he stopped, sat down on an old rusted tool box, but his face in his hands, and said in a thick Spanish accent, "I've been doing thees for a long time and I have never seen anything like thees." I gave him some time alone to think about things, and spend more time with the cars, and after spending 2 hours in my mother's kitchen looking through my father's folder of at least 50 car titles, Efren offered my mother what we felt was a fair sum for the acquisition and removal of the vehicles, including the buses, remember, like this one...

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...which has pretty much become part of the landscape. She accepted. We realize that had we listed each and every vehicle individually, we certainly could have gotten more, but after having my father's friends come over and tell her that there was really no valuable cars on the property, she thought that it would just be nice to get them out of here and get a little extra cash in her pocket in return.

The next task was to try to sell some of the items my father had accumulated in a "great room", this room...

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He had been in the process of building it for about ten years. This great room connected the main home and the garage, and was built with a Native American totem pole as it's main support, then metal poles as the frame and ceiling rafters. He had planned to install these cabinets...

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...which have been sitting there for at least three years, and had had many other grandiose ideas for this room. As you can see, he dreams were never realized, thus, five days of yard sales.

To say the least, the yard sales were entertaining. Because my mother lives in a border town, 80 percent of the population is of Hispanic origin, and many of the yard sale attendees did not speak English. Now my Spanish isn't fantastic, but I can get by, and this really helped.

The first few days we sold several hundred dollars worth of items, but by the last day, I started noticing that people would wander through the garage and "great room", look around in disgust, then leave. This is the point at which I put my well-thought-out plan for getting rid of this trash into action.

As the next family entered, I cheerfully said, "Buenos Dias!" They replied likewise, then I said, in Spanish, "Do you have a truck?" When the father answered yes, I told him that if they filled their truck up, there would be no charge for any item, that everything would be "gratis" (free). He looked around in confusion, then picked up an old range hood, and asked, "How much for this?"

I said, "Gratis, if you fill up your truck." They looked around doubtfully, then the father said something to the wife and boys, and they started loading up their truck. My plan had come to fruition!

This worked one other time. After I was no longer able to get people to fill up their trucks for free, I just told everyone who came that everything was "gratis" no matter how much they took. This helped in clearing out a little bit more.

At one point a couple of about sixty years of age came in with an older couple, perhaps close to eighty, and a younger man of about forty and begin loading up boxes of the free stuff. Previous customers, mostly women, had been pining over the 4-month-old baby I had been hoisting around on my hip most of the time, and had said how "precioso" and "hermoso" and "gordo" he was. This time, however, the 40-year-old man from this family came up very close to us and began playing with the baby and babbling to him and even kissing him over and over again. I had never see a man this age behave this way around any of my babies, so it was a little awkward, but as long as his parents and grandparents were hauling off my dad's trash, I was okay with it.

Once, while the 60-year-old man was about to hoist up a large box with his wife, he let one rip, you know, some wind, and it was loud. In a normal circumstance I would not have thought much about something like this, as it's a natural body function, especially if you are older and are about to hoist up a heavy object. However, when this man exclaimed, because of the passing of his wind, in a loud shout, "Ay que la!", I found it very difficult to contain my laughter. I don't know what "Ay que la" means in Spanish, but it is something many Mexican people say as an exclamation. I hope it's not a curse word. When I accidentally pass wind, I usually just say a quiet "excuse me", but I think that from now on I may just shout "Ay que la!"

I'll post more about our yard sale adventures later in the week probably, and I'll introduce our new "agent" when it comes to all things manly, like metal pieces, car parts, towing things, and the like.

Thanks for listening!

OURS: All right, can't wait to read your Homemaker Monday tips today! Thank you so much for linking up and visiting and I hope you have a wonderful Homemaker Monday!




Today on....
-life in mexico {and other places} a picture a day: {two girls on staten island ferry}
-365 Days of TV-Free Toddler Time: No-Cost Arcade Time!
-Fotografia Colonia: Savannah - 9 Days Old

Sunday, April 18, 2010

What Ed Said About Cutting Onions

Welcome to the 87th weekly edition of...


Thank you for joining us! If you're new to this carnival and would like to enter your post, please check HERE for the rules and regs.

YOURS: This week's YOURS goes to Santa's Gift Shoppe! She posted instructions on how to make my all-time favorite Girl Scout cookie, thin mints! These cookies are incredible, and you'll see why I know that tomorrow. How could they be otherwise with ingredients like this...?

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Honestly, there is almost nothing that I love more than homemade versions of store-bought stuff, versions that leave out the hydrogenated oils, high fructose corn syrup and all of the other unpronounceable ingredients. For Santa's Gift Shoppe's recipe, click HERE. Thank you so much Santa's Gift Shoppe, and feel free to grab the "I Was Featured" button from my left sidebar!

MINE: My father was probably the most interesting person I've ever met in my life, so much so that my mother, before he died, had thought about writing a blog called "What Ed Said" to record all of the memorable words of wisdom he pontificated...

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(Ed is shown here carefully pressing plastic wrap onto his coveted guacamole to keep it from browning.)

She never did get around to it, but because I love the ring to that title, I'm going to use it in this and subsequent titles of my various blog posts. Thanks for the fodder, Mom!

And since I brought up Santa in the "YOURS" section of this blog, let me just say that during the latter years of his life, Ed strangely resembled a jolly red-clad man who rides in a sleigh at Christmas time, complete with red polo shirts and suspenders, and when awed children pointed to him in grocery stores, then whispered to their mothers, "Mommy, there's Santa Claus!", he would walk past them saying "Ho, ho, ho!"

And that was probably one of the most "normal" things he did.

Along with painting my mother's dining room picture window white so she couldn't see the discarded thrift store finds he would pile outside her home, asking us if we had let anyone tie us up when we came home from school, and telling us we didn't have to brush our teeth because we had behaved so well that day, one of Ed's trademarks was that when he cooked, he cooked A LOT. Using a large stock pot was not sufficient if he wanted to whip up a batch of soup. He had to use an Army kitchen sized stock pot, one he had purchased at an authentic Army Surplus store. I remember having to ladle soup into bag after Ziploc bag because there was so much, that we had to freeze at least three-fourths of it, and that was after the seven of us had eaten it for every meal for a week.

But really, all kidding aside, I learned many homemaking skills from my father during these marathon cooking sessions. One of the most valuable skills he taught me, and one I even passed on to a short-order cook when I worked in a diner in Louisiana, was how to cut an onion. In honor of Ed, let me share...

(Note: To avoid tears when you're cutting an onion, try THIS tip.)

The first step is to peel off the skin, then slice off the top, like so...

how to cut an onion

(Make sure to leave the bottom in tact)

The second step is to slice the onion in one half inch strips almost all the way to the bottom, but not quite, leaving the pieces still connected together...

how to cut an onion

The third step is to slice these slices in the opposite direction, continuing to keep the onion in tact...

how to cut an onion

And lastly, slice these slices off the onion, like so...

how to cut an onion


...leaving wonderful little chunks perfect for making enough soup for an Army...

how to cut an onion

I really love this technique because there is no trying to pile slices of onions on top of each other to then again slice them down to size. Try it...you'll love it!

Thanks for listening.

OURS: Okay, I can't wait to see what all of you amazing homemaking have for us today. Last week was the biggest Homemaking Monday since it's conception, which was hugely exciting for me, so thank you so much for linking up and visiting. Have a great Homemaker Monday!

Thursday, December 17, 2009

These are a few of my favorite things...

This set of bowls, given to me by my mother, as a gift to be used in our Mexican hacienda...



These salad servers, hand-made by my favorite aunt...



This talavera-style pear, purchased at Ross for $5.99...



This talavera pot, purchased by my husband at a fair in the Mexican border town where he works...



...and this wok, passed down to me after my father died. I'm sure he purchased it during one of his frequent trips to his favorite thrift store, where he loved to pick out and purchase brass knick knacks for my mother. My mother could never get him to understand that it was not brass she liked, but copper. You can read more about the issues that caused HERE.



Just thought you should know. Thanks for listening.

Friday, December 4, 2009

A Journal Entry From My 12-Year-Old Self

I can't remember which post it was exactly, but one written by Mama Kat over at "Mama's Losin' It" inspired this post. The following is a journal entry from my 12th year. These writings are at the same time inspiring, nostaligic, and just a little bit weird. See for yourself...




The first thing at which I marveled when I reread this entry was that I have turned into my mother. She had a large family herself, well, actually, only half the number of children I have, but it seemed large at the time, for me, as the oldest. She, too, enlisted our help for Sunday dinners and for all other occasions for that matter. I know I resented it, I remember resenting it, but I didn't express it in writing here. Perhaps I didn't resent it as much as I remember. Perhaps my kids don't resent me for asking them to help as much as I think they do. Perhaps....perhaps....

The second thing that struck me was that I made it a point to mention how nice we set the table. I still love a well-set table and almost always set our table with cloth napkins, glass plates, and lit tapers. Perhaps this means that as my daughters see me try to make dinner a special, pleasant experience each evening, they will choose to do the same in their adult years. Perhaps...

Nostalgia struck as I remembered my relationship with my paternal grandfather, born in Coahuila, Mexico. He died in 1993, and he is probably the person who has passed on I miss the most besides my father. I often find myself wishing he were here to share in my accomplishments of gardening, child-bearing, frugality and recycling, a few of his passions. For living in a time when recycling wasn't cool, Grandpa Tito was a keen recycler, storing old tin cans of bacon grease throughout his kitchen, saving pecan shells from the pecan trees grown in our yard, and always tossing veggie scraps into his make-shift compost bin.

But Grandpa Tito could splurge, and always did when we got good grades, sometimes even taking us out of school, without my mother's permission, for his famous shrimp lunches. Yeah, you can bet she loved it when her father-in-law did that.

Lastly, this journal entry was just plain weird because when I was 12, I liked to get into a chicken coop and catch roosters. While the 9-year-old boy currently finds pleasure in this, I certainly cannot imagine my 13- or 14-year-old children behaving in such a manner. Throwing a football or writing a song perhaps, but not chasing a rooster. Perhaps this means....okay, I really have no idea what this means. I think I was just weird. Still am....

Thanks for listening. And now, for your holiday enjoyment...

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Force of Habit and Death


While I was visiting my mother last week, a telemarketer called and asked if my father would like to donate money to the Michael Reagan campaign. I politely stated that if he were alive, I'm certain he would, but he no longer is, so could you please take us off your phone list?

The woman very empathetially said that, or course, he would be taken off the list, and that she was very, very sorry for our loss.

And I did NOT say, in an equally agreeable tone, "Oh, that's okay!"

Really, it's not okay that my dad is dead,...but I said it was...because that's what I always say when somebody tells me they're sorry for something. I'll have to concentrate harder next time. Thanks for listening.

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Friday, June 26, 2009

Popular Posts of the Past: Losing a Husband, Twins, and a Mannequin

It's been a while since I've posted, I know, but I've been stressed. I decided to spend a week with my mom, and during our stay, I have realized just how twin-proof I have made my own home. We've tried to make adjustments for them, but some things we just can't change. For instance, her couches are lower than mine, so they can climb on them, never allowing me a moment's rest with my laptop without eight limbs climbing all over me. We've put up three gates, but two of them are so tall that it takes our greatest gymnast skills to get over them every time we need to go to the bathroom. So, yes, I'm stressed. With that, since I've neglected you, my readers, all week, I have decided to post a few links to my most popular posts from the past. Here goes...

-Profund Piles of Laundry is a poignant post about laundry and losing my husband.


-Wordless Wednesday: Sleeping Twins Holding Hands (self-explanatory).

-Wally is about our experience with my father's wish to keep his children safe by making them travel with a mannequin. Read about "Wally's" adventures with police officers and our friendly border patrol!


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Thursday, February 5, 2009

"The Funeral Was AWESOME!"

This comment was made by several people the week after my father's funeral.


It was a adjective I've never heard before, when describing a funeral. Others said it was the best funeral they'd ever been to. You know, I can just see my dad up in Heaven, boasting to all of his friends and relatives, "You see, did you hear that? Mine was the BEST funeral they've ever been to!"

I had thought of how we would do his funeral for quite some time. He was in poor health and I am the oldest child and knew I would be responsible for organizing it. And I always knew it would be a stand-up comedian routine. There is no other way it could have gone. My dad was just a outrageous, funny, weird guy and we had to do him justice. Can you imagine what an amazing feeling it was to stand at the pulpit, sharing my father's lunacies, and seeing my mother laughing so hard she was crying? And the following is only part of the hysterics. After I spoke, eight of his grandchildren shared memories, which fell into the category of weird or funny, then three of his life-long friends spoke. The audience was roaring during their words as well. It was awesome and I couldn't have asked for a better send-off for Ed. Because many have asked that I post my father's eulogy, here's a sketch of Ed from my point of view...

"First of all I would like to thank my mom for asking me to speak today. It's an honor and I hope to be able to portray my father in such a way as to help all of you know him the way I did.
Secondly, I would like to thank all of you for the love, generosity and food you've shared with us. It has helped so much to know how much Ed was loved and it has made the grieving process a little bit easier to bear.

My father's passing seems to me to be the end of an era. He was bigger than life, in more ways than one. I can't imagine my life without him in it. I can't imagine my mom's life without him in it. And honestly, when our family gets together, I don't know what we are going to do for entertainment. One of our favorite family passtimes is to make fun of Ed. In July, during our family reunion, my sister, Kimberly, came up with a game called "Ed Trivia" in which she asked the family questions about Ed's life and we had the opportunity to call out the answers. These were questions like:

How many buses did Ed have buried on his property? 1
How many vehicles are on his property? 37
How many of them actually run? 3
Why is George Bush Ed's Hero? because "he's just like me".

The best part of the game was that Ed couldn't stop laughing the whole time. He even threw in his own questions, occurances we had forgotten about. He thoroughly enjoyed this game at his expense and always seemed to be at his best when we were all laughing at, I mean, with him.

With that, I would like to set the tone of Ed's memorial today. Perhaps this will be somewhat of an unusual funeral, but my father was an unusual guy, so it will be fitting. I'm not sure if people get to watch their own funerals from the spirit world, but if he is watching, I would hope that he will smile on us as we share our memories.

First a little history....
Ed was born to Gus (Tito) and Aurora (Lala) Hickerson on July 12, 1945. He had a wonderful childhood which involved good friends from whom we'll have the priveledge of hearing a little later and little rat terrier named Princey.

He graduated from Cathedral high school in 1963.
- worked in Houston in a factory for a year and realized he needed to get an education.
- then went on to earn a bachelor's at UTEP in 1967.

Ed worked hard for many years as a school teacher while we were little and earned extra money for his growing family by working late into the night after school making wrought iron designs.

When his father retired, he passed his wood flooring business over to Ed and my father turned the business into the "premier wood flooring company in El Paso". He ran his business successfully even while enduring failing health over the past few years and worked every day up until three weeks before he died.

The facts I just mentioned are probabaly not new information to most of you in this room. Now I would like share some things that you might not have known about Ed. I would like to help you get to know him the way I knew him.....the real Ed...

I'd like to start by sharing with you a list of ten things I learned from Ed in no particular order. There are a lot more than ten, but because of time constraints, we will just stick with these.

1. If you are going to make soup, make a lot of it.
If any of you know my dad, you know that he loved to cook. And soup for one evening wasn't something he would ever consider. The pot had to be this big....and once it was cooked, had to be stored in at least 20 Ziploc freezer bags.

2. The other driver is always stupider than you are.
My father always taught us to drive defensively by helping us to realize that at any given time, all of the drivers around us could behave in the most irrational way and that we should always beware of drivers who were "stupider" than we were.

3. You should get up at the crack of dawn. Unless you were sick or rich, you had no business being in bed. He could not accept it if any of his children slept in at any time.

4. Don't ever let anyone tie you up.
For some reason, my father was very worried that this would happen to us. Often, upon our return home from school, He would say, "You didn't let anyone tie you up today, did you?" I'm not sure what was behind that.

5. Stay with the pack.
This was my father's way of saying that we should always use the buddy system. Good advice.

6. Who says casual Friday can't mean wearing your swim trunks to work?
Once while I was out running errands with a few of my kids, I called my dad and asked him if he wanted to meet for lunch. Of course he said yes and we made arrangements for where to meet. I arrived there first and sat down with my kids. When I saw him walk in, I was shocked to see he was wearing swim trunks with his regular stretch polo. I asked, "Dad, have you been to work today?"
"Oh yes, I've been at several different job sites and I've given a couple of estimates, too."
"Dad, do you realize that you are wearing a swimming suit?"
"No, I'm not, these are just shorts"
"No, Dad, they're swim trunks."
When he was able to shift himself around enough to see his shorts, he finally admitted that they were, indeed, swim trunks. The strange thing is that I saw him wear them several more times until my mom probably decided to hide them from him.

7. There are multiple ways to create a room with a view.
My mother had a beautiful dining room. Except for one thing...Every time she looked out the window, she was accosted by a view of piles of construction material my dad had decided to store there. She had asked him to move it many times, but he felt like that was where it needed to be stored. In an effort to please my mother, however, he decided one day that while she was out of town, he would take care of the problem.

When she returned, she walked by the window and saw out of the corner of her eye that it appeared to be fogged up. She didn't think much of it, and assumed that the shower in the nearby bathroom had fogged up the window. However, when she walked by again an hour later, she noticed that the window was still fogged up. Upon closer inspection, she found that it had been spray painted white in order to hide the unappealing view of the construction material. My mother did not approve of this and questioned him as to why he had done such a thing. He answered that he had thought that she would appreciate not having to look at the ugly view anymore. My mom didn't appreciate it and the paint had to be scraped off with a razor by the same workman who had originally been asked to spray paint it.

8. Set a good example for your children.
Once, as my father and his youngest daughter were walking out of Sun Harvest, they spotted two hundred dollar bills on the sidewalk by the parking lot. My father picked them up and looked around, wondering where they had come from. He saw a man walking with his family into the store from the direction in which he had found the money and followed them to ask if it was their's. It was determined that the man had dropped the money as he had gotten out of his car and he was so grateful that my father had been honest in finding the owner of the money. What a wonderful example this action set for his daughter and it's something I never forgot.

9. Be your child's advocate, no matter how old they are.
3 and a half years ago, the man I was dating, who happens to be sitting there, decided to propose to me. To follow tradition, however, and out of respect for my father, he wanted to first ask Ed's permission, even though he was only ten years younger than my father. We took Ed out to lunch to one of his favorite restaurants, which is always a great idea if you want a conversation to go well, and John officially asked my father for his permission to marry me.

My father looked at John and said, "Well, first, I have a few questions to ask you. First of all, do you have any judgements against you?"
John answered that he didn't.
I asked, "Dad, don't you have judgements against you?"
His answer: "Yes, many, but that's not the point."
All I remember about John's response to the incident on the way home in the car was him saying, "Bless your father's heart."

10. You don't have to have money to be rich.
I remember one incident so clearly, that occured about 25 years ago. My sisters and I were sitting on the couch in the living room and my father walked in from work with his arms spread wide, and shouted, "I am a rich man!" We all looked at each other with questioning glances and wondered what had happened. He continued to say, "....because I have a YOU ALL as my family!" This is something that stayed with me for over 25 years and I now can call myself a rich woman also.

I hope you could see from this list that my father had a love for life and there was never a dull moment when he was around. I am so thankful for the characteristics I developed as I learned from him. Even though he wasn't a church-going man, he always told me that he had an open line of communication with God and I believe he did. He knew what was important...and that was family.
...And if he felt like he was a rich man with five kids, he felt like a billionaire once his grandkids came. I will now turn the time over to them and to some of my siblings to give them the opportunity to share their memories I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen."

I am pleased to list this post @...


PhotoStory Friday
Hosted by Cecily and MamaGeek

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

This Week's Thankful List With Photos

I am thankful...

...when the serious twin smiles...

...for God's miriad glorious floral creations...

...that I belong to a family of men who help...

...for a son who flows with creative juices (and who encourages me to blog things about him daily)...

...that the 16-year-old boy knows how to cook (pictured below - chicken alfredo)...

...that my husband organized this old-fashioned photo shoot (taken before the twins were even twinkles in his eye)...

...for big brothers...and little brothers...

...for fathers...

Mine...

My children's...

My husband's...

... that my children have a hands-on father...

...for a pensive little girl...

...that when I want to find a happy place, I can go to my honeymoon in Cancun three and a half years ago...

Thanks for sharing my list today. What are you thankful for?

I am pleased to list this post @...

Grace Alone's...



Thursday Thirteen dot com,
Rose-Colored Glasses' "Thankful Thursday",
Cielo's "Hopeful Friday",
Jayelee's "Thursday Thirteen"
and...



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