Thursday, January 1, 2009

My Top 10 Beauty Tips...Hold Onto to Your Ergonomic Computer Chairs...

I was tagged by a good friend to share my top ten beauty tips. Here is what she looks like...

SHE was tagged by another of our good friends. Here is what SHE looks like...

Here is what I look like...

Okay, I can clean up a little bit. Here's an example of that...

Still, it's kind of intimidating to be tagged for beauty secrets by two runway model-type moms. I sometimes can't even believe they're my friends. I'm glad it's not like in high school, when the pretty girls pointed and laughed at me. These girls usually just laugh with me. Or so they say. :) Jeni actually freely admitted to me that she tagged me because she thought I'd have something funny to say. We'll see. Anywho, here are my top ten beauty secrets, in order of daily performance:

Number One: The Shower Routine-

Realizing that the world wouldn't come to an end if I only get three or so showers a week is a gift the twins have given me. I just have not figured out how to do it with them and the toddler around unless they are sleeping at the same time, which rarely happens. Plus, there always seems to be much more important tasks for me to accomplish when the three fall asleep at the same time, like laundry, dishes, reading the Twilight series (did I just admit that?), and so forth. Hey, I use half the amount of soap, shampoo and conditioner, so maybe I'll buy something nice for myself at the end of the year as a reward for my unintentional frugality.

Number Two: Application of Lotion-

My face is as dry as a lizard's, so I have to apply lotion after my shower. Otherwise, it feels like my face is literally going to crack when I smile. And..any lotion'll do. Jergen's cream for extra-dry skin, udder cream, foot crack face will suck it right up. I'm sure all of you Mary Kay consultants out there are just cringing that I would even CONSIDER putting foot lotion on my face rather than a specialty facial lotion, but, you'll just have to get over it. I did.

Number Three: The Eyes-

Once I find something I love, I don't change, so I have been using a most special eyeliner for over ten years. I use Revlon Colorstay Eyeline in Blackest Black. I love it so much, because there is almost nothing you can do to get it off and that works for me. You see, I have allergies. I always have and I remember my eyes watering in high school and going into the girl's bathroom only to find that I had looked like a racoon while I was talking to Joe Kidd, my crush who probably forgot about me the moment the late bell rang, unless he couldn't help but remember the racoon eyes. After searching far and wide, I came across the Revlon Colorstay and my world changed forever. I can cry my eyes out, and have, I can give birth to a 9 pound child, and have, and I can go swimming in 7 foot swells in the ocean and have and that eyeliner stays right in place. It's a miracle product and I would highly recommend it! (And this is not a paid advertisement, although I think it should be.)

Number Four: The Eyes (Part 2)-

A perfect addition to Revlon Colorstay Eyeliner is Revlon's Colorstay Waterproof Mascara, again, in Blackest Black. Like the eyeliner, the stuff only comes off in the shower in little crumbles if you pick it off, which is part of my shower routine, right after kneeling in prayer (Yes, I pray in the shower as it's my only private time during the day.) I'm sure you could use some kind of mascara removing cream, but that sounds like a lot of effort, so I just opt with the shower and pick method. I've been using this mascara for over ten years also. I love it!

Number Five: The Lips-

Again, Revlon makes a Colorstay Lipliner that also stays on during childbirth. I use Nude Lipliner and Loreal Violet Attitude Lipstick.

Number Six: The Hair-

My hair has a mind of it's own. If both sides agreed with each other, that would be okay, but one side likes to flip out cutely, but the other side flips the same direction, so in, not out. It is just ridiculous. If I don't put three or four products in my hair, disaster will occur. So, I use Got 2B Glued. I just LOVE this stuff. It's a cream I use before blow drying and it makes my hair go exactly where I want it. I am lost without it.

Number Seven: The Hair (Part Two)-

Another thing my hair likes to do is to curl in unreasonable directions. That's where my straightener comes in. My hair goes from ridiculous to chic in a few seconds with a straightener. I can even flip out the bottoms a little bit if I twist it just right. Another product I'd be lost without.

Number Eight: To Wear-

I love fall, because that means it's time for layering. After giving birth to nine kids, layering is imperative for me, as I've kept on about 5 pounds with each child. I've found that a good quality fitted blazer, in black or brown, does wonders for my bod's appearance. It can disguise the unsightly side rolls, the bulging stomach and the nursing-twins bosoms all at the same time. Thank you, blazer inventor!

Number Nine: The Legs-

I'm not a big fan of the razor. In fact, I curse the person who decided that it was inappropriate for women to sport body hair. It's just that I have so many better things to do than shave every surface of my body that has God-given hair, every day. So I don't...unless I'm going swimming or to church in the summer. I really don't want to be a menace to society, so I cave at those times during the year. In the winter, I let my coat grow out, but so as not to offend, I find that I can wear dark stockings and high boots with skirts and dresses and no one is the wiser! I guess my three years in Germany as a army wife was an inspiration in more ways than one.

And Number Ten: Jewelry-

I love jewelry. Not the expensive kind. I've never been able to afford that....the costume kind, as they call it. I'm a huge fan of chunky stones hanging from choker chains, chandelier earrings and clinky bracelets. However, at this time in my life, if I wear a necklace, the first thing the twins will do is pull it so hard that the attachment clasp will bend and break. I've given up on that, but I still cling to my dangly earrings. My favorite standbys are simple silver hoops. They go with everything and it makes people think you care.

So there you have it...How I make myself presentable to the world. I'd love to hear some of your beauty tips in a pinch in the comment section. Thanks for the tag, Jeni! Now, I tag, Kristin, Bobbi, and C!

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Susan (Between Naps on the Porch) said...

1. It would be intimidating to have such good looking friends! :-)
2. Your products sound better than my products. I'm going shopping for your stuff. Maybe with some stay on mascara, my contacts wouldn't go crazy several times a day. :-)
3. Hair stuff sounds good too! Ok, I admit it, I could use a make-over.
4. Thanks for all the good advice! Great post!

The Southern Housewife said...

Oh girly, you are beeeeutiful in my book! Plus, you've got a really cool name! ;)

Thanks for the tips!
The Southern Housewife

Manuela@Pleasures of Homemaking said...

LOL! That was fun and I've got to try that eyeliner!

Happy New Year!


Jeni's thoughts said...

That was great JEn!!

Stephanie said...

You're like my beauty tip twin! I can totally identify with nearly everything you said - from growing out my leg hair in the winter (no one sees it anyway) to getting creative with the "facial moisturizing". Except that I used to be a Mary Kay consultant and that kinda broke me of my life-long habit of using body lotion on my face.

Barbiemat said...

I loved it! Thank you Jen. That was great. I will have to try some of that eyeliner. Always in the market for a good eyeliner. Thanks for the tip.

CHELZERS said...

You are hilarious. I'm convinced we'd be great friends! :)

Oh, and I must confess I'm a MK consultant, but I'm of the 'non-traditional' kind. I say do whatever works for you.

You go, girl!

Melinda said...

They were was funny. Thanks for the laugh. I don't know how you get anything done with the twins and Johnny. Jen, You really look amazing for having 9 kids.

Salsa Mama said...

Oh, you seriously had me and my girls laughing our heads off at the beginning of your post! You have such a great humor!! You ARE definitely a beauty, so it's ok for you to joke about it. I am going to get me some of that colorstay eyeliner ASAP. With all the crying I'm doing with this pregnancy, I need something that will STAY on. Thanks for the tips!

Amanda B. said...

I laughed so hard at this & read some of it to my husband!!! Especially the part about skipped showers and facial cream- I could have written that. So true!

Very good tips! :)

Bobbi said...

You didn't disappoint, Jenny! That was pretty funny. I'm not sure why you picked me tho. What can I add?? But I'll give it a shot. Do I have to add a picture? If so, my 2 faithful readers will wonder...."Poor thing. Why does she even bother?"

newlyweds said...

Great tips!! Your beautiful girl!

Anyways I can totally relate to the not shaving. I wore shorts yesterday and I couldn't believe how long there were, eek. Btw its 75 here in Tejas, is that crazy or what?

Jessica said... is a new favorite of mine for jewelry. she's a friend, too, and she has 1/2 price specials each month so i like that.
my tip...mascara. i don't even do eyeliner (i think i'm too chicken!) but i look like death without mascara.
oh, and i second the lack of shaving in cold's just a waste of time and what mother has much of that to throw around?

~~gail~~mooselovingmamabear said...

Thanks for such a great read... Come on over to my blog house cuz I've got a present for you to bring home to your blog house...

jayedee said...

lotion? who has time for lotion. most days i have to content myself with the fat left on my hands from making burgers or meatloaf. if i have a little more time, i pat a little evoo under my eyes. baby wipes are an excellent substitution for a real bath and can be used on the run in between baseball practice and the grocery store!

Jenny said...

Wow,your beauty tips are pretty close to the ones I use. Although I have never thought of using foot cream on my face. Mine gets so dry. I can't live with out something to give me moisture.

Love hoop earings. Quite wearing anything else when I started having children.

Kassie said...

thanks for sharing! Your beauty tips tell me that you are a down to earth mother of a large family. I could relate to each and every one of them.

Bethany Cox said...

i don't shave my legs but nor do i wear dark tights. i let it all flap in the cold utah wind. i don't even wear long skirts. i like shocking people. your post was funny mujer...very funny...

Lee Anne said...

Okay, first off I can't imagine 9 kids. I have twins and it's all I can do to stay sane (which some days I wonder if I actually am). I think I would be intimidated as well if tagged by 2 friends like that for this. :) But thank you so much for posting yours! I went and got the eyeliner and LOVED it. I couldn't find the mascara but will keep trying. Woo-hoo! I can wear makeup and not worry about raccoon eyes anymore. Thanks a million!

Alison said...

I KNEW someday that I'd find my shower-praying-sister!!

Thanks for all the beauty tips--I think my beauty regime will definitely benefit.

*and yes, I mean regime, not regimen.

Susie Q said...

Instead of the flat iron, blow dryers, etc.....go for Amazing site that has done wonders for helping me deal with my curly hair...I use the curling iron on my bangs, but I'm growing them out and moving them to the side. And sometimes supermodel friends drive me nuts too!

thorney said...

My face is just like yours coming out of the shower--I feel like a lizzard. The worst for me is coming out of the pool though, and since I swim as exercise, at the gym, it's just gotten worse with age.

The pharmacist suggested I use Aquaphor on my skin before I go into the pool. Lifesaver!!! I love this stuff. My face feels better than ever. I love this stuff.

I do use the Mary Kay orange stuff at night--it's kind of like applying grease to my face, but I can literally feel my skin sucking it in and it feels good.

Do you think men ever have discussions like this, or is it just women? LOL