1. I can flip a broom from sweeping position to dustpan position with one hand, like a nunchuck warrior.
2. I can drop-shoot a poopy diaper into a trash can from thirty feet.
3. I can bank-shoot square blocks into a toy box from across the room.
4. I can tell which twin needs me by the barely perceptible difference in their vocal cords.
5. I can carry a 27-pound baby on my hip for two hours.
6. I can breastfeed while riding a horse.
7. I can easily prepare a meal for 60 people.
8. I can feed lunch to nine extra teenagers without notice.
9. I can make a pie crust without hydrogenated oil.
10. I can go from housewife attire to going-out wear in 7 minutes.
11. I can keep track of ten church outfits, including mini shoes and ties, and have each child donned in them before 8:30 on Sunday morning.
12. I can function on five hours of sleep for three years.
13. I can make bread out of nothing but sprouted wheat, raisins and salt.
14. I can go for years without a doctor visit, healing aches, pains, and sicknesses with herbs and other natural remedies.
15. I can feed a family of 10 at McDonald's for $13.
16. I can play Beethoven's Pathetique Sonata with a baby on my lap.
17. I can sit in the hot summer sun for three hours to watch a high school football game.
18. I can get enough protein into my teenage son without using meat to help make him an amazing athlete on game day, one of the fastest on the team.
19. I can pick up things with my toes to avoid bending over when there is a large fetus taking up most of my abdomen.
20. I can run down the hallway without peeing in my pants.
21. With the right small appliance, and a husband who was willing to purchase it for me, I can make 8 loaves of 100% whole wheat bread at a time.
22. I can fold a fitted sheet to a perfect rectangle in 55 seconds.
23. I can remember to keep on hand at all times everything required to make chocolate chip cookies.
24. I can tune out 4 screaming kids, and 3 fighting ones, while I'm driving.
25. I can make a dress, and wear it to church.
26. I can be on time for the 8 daily trips to the school.
27. I have eyes in the back of my head.
28. I can endure never-ending laundry without screaming.
29. I can heal a wound.... just by kissing it.
30. I can forgive.
31. I can grocery shop while miscarrying.
32. I can remember the exact dates of favorite loved one's passings.
33. I can remember all ten birth weights and dates of my children.
34. I can make a cake without a mix.
35. I can clean up a quart of molasses off the floor.
36. I can change a poopy diaper while experiencing morning sickness without throwing up.
37. I can breastfeed two babies at one time.
38. I can endure agonizing pain for 15 hours and happily smile when it's over as my husband and I cradle our newborn baby in our arms.
See, being a housewife isn't so boring after all. What makes YOU Superwoman?