Monday, July 14, 2008

Wally

I have a father. He looks like this...



I have a sister. She looks like this...(on right)



Pretty cute, right?

Well, because she looks like this, my father thought that she should have a traveling companion on her trip to Austin to deter would-be harassers. He suggested this man...



Notice the grotesquely thin chest and misshapen lips. My father has dubbed this man "Wally" after his nickname in high school. Wally, the mannequin, among other treasures, was acquired many years ago in exchange for the installation of a hardwood floor. He has been used as an audience for my brother's band, a creepy item of decor in my brother's music room, and....well, that's about it.

So, my father asked his workmen, whose normal jobs are to install hardwood floors, to dress Wally in his best attire. You've seen the result above. The finishing touch was the pair of sunglasses.

My sister was very much opposed to this idea from the beginning, but because it was the condition for receiving $100 in gas money from my father, she had no choice.



In an effort to increase the illusion of Wally's "realness", my father suggested the following. As my sister gets out of the car to fill up at any given gas station, she should look back into the passenger seat and ask Wally if he would like a Coke or anything.

I thought I could add to the illusion by suggesting that she add, "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were asleep."

My mother topped it off by suggesting that they could go as far as doing what real people do: argue. My sister could say something like, "You know, the last time I asked you if you wanted a Coke you said no. Now, when I ask you again, you get all mad and annoyed. I mean, we HAVE been traveling for three hours now and I thought that maybe, just maybe you might be a little thirsty now. SORRR-EEEE for asking!"
My sister thought none of this was funny and did not say one word to Wally the entire drive. All she did was get "freaked out" by his presence every time she had to switch to the right lane.

Two funny things happened on the road to Austin:
1. My sister got pulled over by a police officer. He looked over at Wally, said not a word, gave her a warning and went on his way. I say this guy needs to lighten up.
2. When she encountered a border check point, the border patrol agent leaned over to get a better look at her passenger and asked his citizenship, followed by his own raucous laughter at his own joke. Again, my sister was not amused. I think SHE needs to lighten up.







Sometimes, just to get my sister mad, we like to call her on her cell and ask if we can talk to Wally. I can see Wally taking trips with MY daughter in the future. I guess I'm more like my father that anyone would care to admit.

27 comments:

Globe Trotters said...

oh, this is too funny. and the pictures are even better! wall-e!

Cambria, Greg, Alan and Molly said...

ok- that is hilarious! I think it is a pretty good idea=)

Dejah said...

Is wally going to be coming to Mexico for a visit?

Barbiemat said...

THat is hilarious. I had a dummy that I would dance with! You've given me a new appreciation now when I do laundry.

RhondaLue said...

Umm this might sound creepy but where can I find a Wally for my teenager?! I'd actually love it if it went on dates with her and all (with an imbedded video and audio recorder) but at least to accompany her to and from work would be nice!

Great, and hilarious, IDEA!

CJ, the Purple Diva said...

THIS WAS FREAKING HYSTERICAL! My girls and I just laughed till we were crying! IT IS THE FUNNIEST THING I HAVE SEEN IN A LOOOOOOOONG TIME!
Tell you sister she needs to read...
Ligthen Up! LOL LOL

CJ, the Purple Diva said...

We all want to find us a mannequin! Wonder where we can find one! OH THE FUN! If we find one we promise to post about it!

Krissy said...

My mom told me about your page... lol I was laughing so hard I was crying! you're my new best friend. LOL

Kimberly said...

I noticed your award on the Diva's blog and thought I would stop by. I got a big kick out of "Wally." My brother would have a ball with "Wally." He's still in college and I can see him playing all kinds of tricks on roommates and such with it. I just might have to suggest it to him...hee hee!

Amanda said...

That is so funny. You crack me up. I think I need a Wally.

Derrick & Laurice said...

That cracked me up!

Rach =o) said...

OK I'm a blogstalker I hope its ok if I post, but I haven't laughed so hard in a long time. That is just hilarious!

Salsa Mama said...

Wow, that Wally looks nice. I'd like to meet him sometime. What would your sister think if people she didn't know started calling and asking for Wally? I love this story! I think it's super funny. We will be needing a Wally soon, too. :)

Amanda B. said...

That is too funny! But, I understand why. My dad believe when you are traveling alone and staying in a hotel room- if you are leaving the hotel for a time, but not checking out, you should say something into the room as if someone is there so they won't try to break in and steal your stuff.

The Farmer's Wife said...

That is sooo funny! But not a bad idea!

Bobbi said...

I love it! We need a Wally, but he needs to have a Brooklynn Accent so he can go back to New York with my daughter! Maybe he has a cousin or a brother? :)

MERRIANNE said...

WOW! That is some funny stuff!!!

Tammy said...

That is SO scary. But I think our Dad's might be related. If had even seen this idea 20 years ago, I would have had a Wally story too!

Funny!

Mama C said...

Hi, first time on your blog, love it! I got such a kick out of this! I will have to file Wally in the back of my mind for when my daughters get to driving age!

mommagurl32 said...

This is too funny, especially asking "Wally" if he wants anthing and also getting freaked out everytime she needed to check the right lane.

The Source said...

Now THAT is a good idea! I have a daughter that will be driving soon and it freaks me out that she'll be all alone. She needs a Wally! Where can I get one? :) Too funny.

Muthering Heights said...

That is HILARIOUS!!!

jennifer said...

I am askeered of Wally! I wouldn't be able to ride in the car with him....too many scary movies I guess.

Funny post!

Jen

Jerralea said...

I totally love this story! You told it so well and I love the pics.

Now since I can't do hardwood flooring, I have to figure out a way to get my own Wally.

I do have 2 daughters who are out there driving by themselves ...

I also had to laugh at your sister not having a sense of humor. Mine didn't either at her age but now she's learned to lighten up!

We are THAT Family said...

Sorry I'm late on visiting your "fro post! Just got back from Family Camp!

What a hilarious story!

Totally cracking up.

alessandra said...

Oh my! just an incredible story, so funny...If I was your sister, think I would hide Wally in the trunk, just by the next corner from home.

Cascia said...

That is funny! So how is Wally?