Dressing Your After-Baby Body

Warning: This post contains graphic (although fully clothed) photos of a woman's body 9 days after giving birth. It's not always a pretty picture.

Have I told you I feel like a million bucks? It's been 12 days since I gave birth to our perfect baby boy...

...and I have absolutely no symptoms that I just had a baby. I'm full of energy, nothing is sore, and at last, I can bend over again! Well, I take it back. I have experienced baby blues of sorts, such as crying over the fact that I didn't have the forethought to tune the 9-year-old's sax to the piano before we performed for his solo festival and crying when I heard THIS SONG, because it reminded me of the 13-year-old boy's grade school graduation, when I cried and cried because I had had mastitis while nursing the twins and it reminded me of the 18-year-old's upcoming graduation from high school and the fact that soon his childhood will be over and have I taught him everything he needs to know to be an adult? ...and so forth....

Oh, and when I stand for too long, it feels like a few essential organs, which shall remain unnamed, may fall out at any moment, but yes, other than those things, it feels as though I was never pregnant!

Because I feel so fantastic, I decided to go to church 7 days after I delivered. This is not at all unusual for me. I figure if I feel good enough to sweep my kitchen floor, there is no reason why I shouldn't go to church. My only concern was that too many people would want to touch the newborn's face. To stave off this problem, when someone would come over with a meal, and ask how long I would be taking off from church, I would tell them that I didn't intent on taking off any time from church, but that I would hope that people would have the consideration to not touch the baby's face or breathe too near him.

When you live in a small town, you only have to say this to two or three people before the whole town gets the memo, and it worked. Of the around 300 people, in both wards combined, that could have touched the newborn's face, only one person did, and she was from the Spanish-speaking ward, so the memo could have gotten lost in the translation, and that's okay. The 8-year-old girl held him as I played the organ, I nursed him during the talks, then went straight to the children's primary room and sat in the back, where I continued to nurse and hold him for the next two hours, as the Primary president had made sure I didn't have any responsibilities with the children for the next two months. Thanks, Jeni!

Now, the question is, and the reason for this post..... How does one dress a body that delivered a baby only a week before? It's not easy, but let me show you how I do it...

The key is LAYERS. Now, I'm not going to claim that I actually looked good at church, but I looked as good as was possible. The following photos, however, were taken at 9 days after delivery, on the day I accompanied the 9-year-old boy on his sax for his solo festival and cried over it, but the only thing different between this outfit and my church outfit was that I wore a skirt instead of pants. Here we go....

My first step was to put on stretchy black maternity pants and a stretchy pink shirt, for color...

As you can see, wearing this alone out in public would have been unacceptable, as I look like a stuffed sausage. Now let's see what happens if we add another black stretchy top, as black does a great job of hiding fatness...

Although this top is black, the fatness is still visible, the sausage look still being sported, so let's add a black blazer...

This is much better, but pot is still showing, so let's add a long colorful scarf, one the matches the pink shirt...

Ah, there we have it. I still look like a large, matronly woman, but the sausage/pot is well-concealed and I am now ready to go out into public.

P.S. I also made sure to wear large, bulky earrings to detract even more from the sausage/pot area...

The added bonus of this outfit is that it is very modest to nurse in, as the scarf does a great job of hiding anything you might not want any member of the bishopric to see while on the stand.

Want even more coverage? Put your baby in a front-carrying sling, like this one from my favorite sling store, hotslings.com...

(Yes, if you click on the hotslings link and buy something, I get paid, so thanks!)

I promise, no one will notice any sausage/pot when you're wearing a cute baby in one of these. And isn't he the cutest?...

Now, to be honest, I think this look....

....is cuter than this look....

...but if you don't have a 9-month-old fetus in your uterus anymore, you've gotta do what you've gotta do! So far I've lost 20 pounds (19 more to go), so hopefully in a few months I'll be sporting cuteness without the belly! Thanks for listening.



On 365 Days of TV-Free Toddler Time today:
It's Cereal and Pipe Cleaner Time! Click the pic to see.




On life in mexico {and other places} a picture a day today:
{a bonfire}