Wednesday, March 10, 2010

How it feels to be 40+ weeks pregnant {for future reference}

Sometimes it seems as though I am in a dream state, like I'm going to be pregnant forever and that Baby Daniel is just a figment of my imagination.

Is there really going to come a time when I will begin to feel regular pains in my lower back, which will gradually increase to the point where my body will feel like it is being ripped apart and I will lose touch with everything going on around me and feel completely encompassed by the process of my uterus working to bring my child into the world?

Will this seemingly huge mass of humanity within me actually be able to make his entrance into the world through such an insignificantly tiny exit? How will I withstand it? Yes, I've done it seven times before, but still... how?

When it's over, will I really be holding a precious baby boy in my arms, who will look into my eyes and nurse at my breast?

Will I really come home with him and lie him in the co-sleeper I've carefully prepared for him, dressed in warm sleepers and swaddled in receiving blankets?

Will I really sit in my rocking chair by the fireplace in my room, and nurse him while I continue to read Charles Dicken's David Copperfield, or will I have finished the book before he arrives?

Will all of the older children really come to visit me in my bedroom as I recover, and look on in wonder at their new baby brother? I know some of them won't act like they feel wonder, but I know they will. Except, will it ever really happen or will I continue to be pregnant all the days of my life?

It's hard to believe these things will ever come to pass. Sometimes I feel like...

...I will never be able to pick up toys off the floor again...

...I will always waddle, very slowly...

...I won't ever be able to cross my legs again...

...I am going to die when the baby moves his head such that a nerve going down my inner thigh is hit, and I cease to be able to walk...

...I will never be thin again...

...my thighs will always fall asleep when I've stood for too long because the baby is so low, and cuts off the blood flow to my legs...

...I will always have to splay my legs when walking up stairs, rather than just lifting my knees up directly in front of me...

...I will always have to drive leaning as far back as possible in the seat, again, splaying my legs so that at least one of them can touch the gas pedal, and in the case of a sudden stop, can be lifted up quickly, then press down on the brake...

...screaming when people ask, "You haven't had the baby yet?"

...screaming when people start asking why I'm not being induced. The baby's only two days late, for goodness sake, and babies can safely come up to two WEEKS late! (Okay, sorry, I'll calm down now.)

...I will never get a good night's sleep again, which is probably a perfectly accurate prediction of my future...

...I will never eat again without afterwords experiencing a searing, burning pain in my chest, known as heart-burn...

...I will never be able to hold the twins in my lap again...

...I will never run...

...or jump, not that I could do that very well before, but still, I'd like to try...

...I will never lie on my stomach again...

....or hug my husband close, without having to take two steps back before I lean into him...

I've written all of these things because I really do know that this time in my life will very soon pass. There truly is only a very short time when I will feel these feelings, and I wanted to remember them, and perhaps compare them to how I'll feel the next time God sends one of His choice spirits into our home. Is it worth it? Having recorded all of these difficult feelings about late pregnancy, do I really want to do this again at some point in my future? You bet your life on it.

Thanks for listening.


On 365 Days of TV-Free Toddler Time today:
It's Cereal and Pipe Cleaner Time! Click the pic to see.



On life in mexico {and other places} a picture a day today:
{a bathroom wall}

12 comments:

thorney said...

Prayers for a safe and halthy delivery to be soon.

I had the first one come 2 weeks early and the 2nd three weeks late. They do come when they are ready.

thereallifehome said...

I hear you! I find it frustrating to go past 40 weeks, because I am perfectly happy to be past my due date, but the pressure from others including midwives is intense!

I am currently expecting baby 7. Baby one came about an hour into her due date day and every single baby got later and later than the one before. My 6th was born 11 days past my edd. Again, I was just fine with it...but everyone else -- so impatient!

I am also praying for a wonderful delivery for you. I know you will be enjoying these last days -- however many there are -- and looking very forward to Daniel's arrival. :)

Momza said...

Stop answering the phone. Let the machine catch it or whoever is home, so you don't have to answer those who wanna know if you've had the baby yet or any of their exasperations.
Pamper yourself. ALOT. Do things you enjoy. Things that make you comfortable and entertaining.
Daniel is fine. You're fine. It's all going to be just fine. Give yourself permission to think only good thoughts.
Play your favorite music, take lots of pics of your tummy. Primp over the baby's things you already have...talk to Daniel and tell him you're so excited to meet him. Take a bubble bath or a long shower. Use lots of pillows to support your back, hips, tummy, neck and arms. Lavendar on a pillowcase helps to relax your mind.

This sacred time is going to be a distant memory before you know it. You're a partner with God right now...you're doing it perfectly.
HUGS!

BarbaraJo said...

Hang in there. Obviously that baby is too comfortable where he is and doesn't want to leave. ;)

Mom2my9 @ 11th Heaven said...

Momza, thanks so much for all these positive ideas! I need to start thinking that way!

Cheryl B. said...

Morning Jen :-}

The Christian Comedian Mark Lowry has a routine about the part of scripture which reads, "it came to pass". According to him, there is both a lot of truth and a lot of hope in those four little words.

Some of the things he applies it to are:
- all of you muscley built 20 year old guys out there, beware, "it came to pass".
- all of you 90 year old men out there, have hope, "it came to pass".
- all of you whom have trying teenagers right now - have hope, "it came to pass"
- those of you who are living well cushioned lives, enjoy but beware, "it came to pass"
- and on his list goes - many of them, while ever so true, hilarious when presented from this perspective!!

Hang on Jen, this now past due state you are in - "IT CAME TO PASS"!!!! :-D Praise the Lord and shout Hallalujah!!! :->

Anonymous said...

I've been lurking for a while. ;) Let me just say that I've been there...my first was 42 weeks+3 days.

Steph

Melinda said...

Thinking of you. I am sorry Jen. Hope you meet Daniel very soon!

~Amy~ said...

Awwww! You're so funny. It will end. He can't stay there forever. That would be a bit awkward, now wouldn't it? I can't wait to see pics of your beautiful baby boy!

Amanda B. said...

Hopefully he will come soon! Good for you for not panicking about not being induced yet. I have never understood why people insist on being induced so early. God knows when they are supposed to come. :) My first was 9 days late.

Can't wait to here the news!

Headmistress, zookeeper said...

My sixth child was two weeks late. My seventh was 21 days overdue, and he only came because I let the midwife give me some herbs to prompt labor.

Natalie said...

thanks for the comment! it's good to know there are other miserable pregnant women out there. and CONGRATS on the new arrival!! can't wait to hear all about it Ü