Tuesday, February 23, 2010

A Letter to My Sister Regarding Attendance at the Birth

Dear Robyn,

As I mentioned here on my blog yesterday, my labors are so long, that I believe if I called you when the contractions began, you would have time to book and board a flight from where you live in California, arrive in El Paso, pick up Mom, drive the 3.5 hours it takes to get here, find the hospital, and little Daniel still wouldn't have arrived into the world. You said that if you didn't have a pressing scientific experiment in the works, that you would come, so great!

Because you have an amazing scientific mind, and are planning on attending medical school one day, I know you are going to be fascinated by this experience. However, because you have never attended a child birth before, let me give you some idea of what my state of mind will be during this process....

First, by the time you get here, I will have probably been in active labor for many hours. I will feel exhausted, frustrated, tearful, distracted, and perhaps even angry. I might not act happy to see you, but please know that were I in my normal state of mind, I would be ecstatic you were present.

You will probably try to be funny around John and Mom. In most cases, you succeed very well at this, but there may come a time when that will be very annoying to me. I will be in the depths of a torturous experience and I will not think it's fair that someone would want to laugh while I am going through this. I know, unreasonable, but I've done this enough times to know. I might want you to be quiet, and I very well may express this to you by saying "Shut up, Robyn!" Please forgive me.

During transition, I will be in my darkest hour (or hours). I will not be aware of much that is going on around me and my actions and demeanor will be such as you've never seen before. I usually don't want to make eye contact with anyone, and I will want absolutely no distractions at all at this point, even though I will be in my own world most of the time.

When it comes time to push, I will feel scared, exhausted, nervous and child-like. I will probably express my fear by saying, "I'm scared." Just be your encouraging self and I will be fine. If you want to try to be funny again at this time, I should be okay with it. Also, you should know that you might actually see me poop. Sorry. But, knowing you, that shouldn't bother you one bit. I may scream a bit at this point as well, as I will be experiencing the so called "ring of fire" as the baby comes out. This should only last for a couple of seconds, though. Once his head is out, I'll feel much better.

After the birth, I will feel an amazing rush of energy, unlike anything else I've ever experienced and we will have a wonderful time getting to know Daniel. You will get to see what a placenta looks like, and I'm sure you will have a plethora of questions for the medical staff. Hopefully John can translate all of your questions for you, and will be willing to.

Okay, then, I think those are the main points you need to know. Do you have any questions? Thanks for supporting me in my decision to have a natural child birth, Rob. I'm so glad you're right there with me on this!

On 365 Days of TV-Free Toddler Time today:
It's Kitchen Cabinet Time! Click the pic to see.


Tania @ Larger Family Life said...

Oh she's in for an experience alright!

Mom2my9 @ 11th Heaven said...

You're right, Tania! When she read this last night, her emailed response was, "sounds fun".

Cheryl B. said...

Robyn is planning to attend the birth huh? Hum mmmm ... ideas are popping o;-p

On the other hand, your going as fast as my last one did and she won't even be to your mom's yet when he is born :-D!!!

Mom2my9 @ 11th Heaven said...

Believe me, Cheryl, ever since I read about your last birth, I've been having fantasies about that happening to me! However, I'm not going to get my hopes up!

Nikki said...

Loved this letter! I cannot imagine though being in transition for hours. Eek. My fourth baby was natural-- no epidural. It was 2 1/2 hours from start to finish. The doctors always tell me that each subsequent labor goes faster. Has that been your experience as well?

RhondaLue said...

I, too, have long labors and you described it very well! The "ring of fire" and "poop" comment cracked me up! Not for the faint of heart! Good luck to you AND Robyn!

Mom2my9 @ 11th Heaven said...

Nikki, to answer your question....NO!

ajwhet10 said...

Note to Robyn: Gulp some good air before you enter, because you won't breathe deeply again until it's over! Yes, loving bystanders get to share the pain and the exceeding joy -- both to a lesser degree, of course. You will love this sacred, unforgettable experience.

Beth at Aunties said...

It is interesting I just read this wonderful and accurate post! Our DIL A RN (from BYU)~ certified midwife with a masters from Georgetown in Midwifery just delivered her firstborn this week. What an expereince!
Frightening the last three hours of pushing when he wouldn't budge. Prayers were said, Blessings were given, and just before the ambulance was called to take her to the hospital for a c-section she refocused, muscles relaxed and she visualized. Mother Nature worked beautifully. No stitches or tears! Out came our bundle of joy. (Come see!)
The midwife didn't notice her uterus prolapsing and I am so thankful she was educated to know what was happening, so that could be remedied. We want many grandchildren from them!

Good luck and Bless your brave soul! Looking forward to seeing another of your beautiful babies.

PS to your sister... our son and his mil are surprised they didn't develop hemmoroids from helping her push!

Pam, mom, honey, said...

i have always wanted to be in the room helping someone have a baby. i guess after delivering 5 times without mirrors or cameras i just really want to see what happens. i think you explained it perfectly. my labors are super quick so if i wanted someone there they would miss it

Jenis blog. said...

Your too funny!