Upon opening my husband's gift, I just kind of chuckled and asked where he had bought this movie and how much it had cost. He answered and asked why, and I told him what I had done, and that we would need to return the movie to Walmart.
But why should I take it back myself when I have a perfectly capable 17-year-old son to do it for me?...which is just what I asked him to do.
Bless his heart, he was so willing to do it as he knew he would probably have to change a twin diaper if he didn't, so off he went.
After returning the movie, he decided to meander to the electronics department and price some Zunes he was interested in. As he studied the price tags stuck to the edges of the shelves, he noticed that a woman standing next to him had dropped a video she had been looking at. This woman was old, and being the gentleman that he is, he stooped over to pick it up for her. However, no sooner than he tried to regain a standing position did he notice that the full weight of her upper body was lying on his back. He remained bent over for a time, thinking that she had tried to pick up the movie at the same time he did and had just bumped into him, but when she didn't get off, he realized something was wrong.
He reached his long arms around his back and wrapped them around her, carefully holding her as he twisted out from under her, then laid her on her back on the linoleum tile, as she still wasn't attempting to stand up. When he looked at her face, he immediately understood why. Her eyes were rolled back into her head, her mouth and tongue were in a gruesome expression and she was convulsing. Her husband was standing next to my son, speechless apparently.
The 17-year-old boy yelled, "Does anyone have a cell phone? I think we need an ambulance!" Someone immediately responded, as the 17-year-old boy was probably the ONLY person in Walmart who didn't have a cell phone, and upon receiving the phone, he quickly called 911 to explain what had happened.
No sooner than he had hung up the phone did the elderly woman rise up again, regain her composure and walk off with her husband.
Okay, 911, never mind.
Later on, as the 17-year-old boy continued his wanderings, he noticed the couple continuing their shopping as well, as if nothing had ever happened. Perhaps this happens to her all the time. I don't know.
One thing is for sure, though. If I ever have an epileptic seizure in Walmart, I hope there is a cute boy onto which I can fall...
...instead of the filthy linoleum tile. Thanks for listening.