Friday, November 27, 2009

I Never Imagined This Time Would Come

My first husband had this jacket when we met in 1988...



He thought that to wear it was the coolest thing ever, whether he was chopping wood on a camping trip, tinkering under his truck, or enjoying an evening sunset...





He wore it from the time we met until he died, six children and 16 years later. To him, it never went out of style, although to me, it certainly did.

When he died, I placed all of his clothing in large plastic bins, unsure of what else to do. To give them away at that time felt like I was giving part of him away. It felt like I was giving part of our children's memories away. I thought that perhaps the then 12-year-old boy might want to wear them one day, as a way of connecting with his lost father, so I kept them.

Then the 12-year-old boy grew up. He passed his father's stature of 5'10" when he was 14 years old and now, at 17, stands over 6'1". I realized three years ago that he would never fit into his father's clothing even if he had wanted to, and that, even if he could, his father's clothing would certainly be out of style. So after three years of hauling those plastic bins of his clothing through four moves, I finally gave them to a young man we had hired to help build our home who was roughly my husband's size. I think he appreciated it. I hope he did.

But apparently I didn't give away everything. And what I never would have imagined was that the then 8-year-old boy would one day grow up into a young man of 13 years....and find....and want to wear every chance he could....his father's favorite jacket.









(Yes, 13-year-old boy, the photo shoot is over. Thank you for your time. :) )

17 comments:

Cop Mama said...

Oh my goodness, what a sad but sweet post, written so well.

Shannon said...

I sort of relative of mine follows your blog and I have checked in on you several times. I am a Mormon momma of 4.3 (baby coming soon enough...) and run an organic products website, www.dandelionsummers.com I have been inspired by your lifes' balance, vegetarian tendencies, full house and open and candid expressions of life whaen it is its worst and its best. It is a tough life. We ought to share our burdens. THank you for sharing this story of your former husband and your son and the jacket. How tender and precious. I appreciate your candor.
Love, A friend, Shannon

Shannon said...

I sort of relative of mine follows your blog and I have checked in on you several times. I am a Mormon momma of 4.3 (baby coming soon enough...) and run an organic products website, www.dandelionsummers.com I have been inspired by your lifes' balance, vegetarian tendencies, full house and open and candid expressions of life whaen it is its worst and its best. It is a tough life. We ought to share our burdens. THank you for sharing this story of your former husband and your son and the jacket. How tender and precious. I appreciate your candor.
Love, A friend, Shannon

Jackiedlc said...

Oh Jen you made my heart skip a beat! so sweet and sad :(

God is good...

Mom2my9 @ 11th Heaven said...

Cop Mama and Shannon, thank you both for your tender comments. Shannon, thank you for sharing your link and I am off to visit it now!

Mom2my9 @ 11th Heaven said...

K, Shannon, just signed up to become an affiliate! Thank you for the opportunity!

Erica said...

What a handsome young man he is. He looks so proud to be wearing his fathers jacket.

Momza said...

That just seems so right...the jacket linking the past to the present. 14 yo boy, you wear it well.

Derrick + Laurice. said...

That's so sweet.

noyb said...

i am an 80's girl myself and i remember those jackets. so cool that one of your boys can and wants to wear it. loved this post. thanks for sharing it.

Kami said...

This is such a precious story! I love how your son is treasuring his father's jacket. Isn't that how the memories are supposed to be?! :) We, too, have saved some of Kelley's favorite things in a treasure chest and will give it to Claire when she's quite a bit older. Just a wonderful way to honor her mom's memory.

I love this story and I love your heart :)

RhondaLue said...

and he looks good in it too! That's really, really cool.

Kelly Tillotson said...

I always come across your blog when I type my blog address in a search engine (homemakinghaven.blogspot.com) and today I decided click and see yours--I was very moved by your story and openness...a lot of times you just run into blogs that only tell the sugary sweet side of life-- I really appreciated your story and seeing your son..thank you for sharing! I hope to have a big family like yours someday!
**Kelly**

Amanda B. said...

That is awesome..... it looks great on him! :)

Melanie said...

So sweet & beautiful post. The jacket looks great on him!

Rachelle said...

This is so sweet! I'm so glad that your son feels that connection to his dad! I'm so glad that you accidently didn't get rid of this jacket! I'm sure it reminds you of sweet memories! (((Hugs)))!!!

Rachelle S.

Muliebrity said...

sniff-sniff. I love everytime you tell stories fo your first husband, but do you know what you are doing to hormonal women everywhere? Don't worry about us, I keep a box of klennex on hand everytime I read your blog - just in case. Keep up the great posts!